This week I watched my kids march bravely up to their new school, seemingly ready to take on another year. This year though, they’re the new kids, in a school with less than 300 students across elementary to high school. The front lawn was full of kids reuniting with friends and old teachers. As we were leaving, it was hard to watch Emma stand alone in a sea of children – with no friends to embrace, I read her tiny lips as she said aloud to herself: “I don’t know what to do.”
My heart sunk. A lump in my throat grew and tears threatened to spill out. I resisted the urge to run to her and make a big deal out of it, but all I wanted to do was bring her in close and assure her that she’d make friends soon.
The Weight of Military Life
I’m proud of my husband’s and my service to this country. We signed up straight out of college, and it has been a great experience for us both.
But moments like this make me pause. These little ones didn’t sign up for this life, yet they carry the weight of every move, every new school, and every goodbye.
While I fought back tears, Emma chose optimism. Both big kids admitted they were nervous, knowing their classmates had grown up together. And all day, my mama heart wondered: Were they fitting in? Had they found a friend?
By pickup, my fears melted into relief. They came out smiling, full of stories, excited for the year ahead.
A Reminder for My Heart
Although we’ve lived here for over a month, we’re still new—and the community doesn’t know us yet. We’re leaning into sports and activities, but I’m being careful not to overcommit. I want to embrace this season with intention, not hurry.
That first day reminded me that back-to-school isn’t just about sharpened pencils and new teachers—it’s about emotions. For our kids, it’s nerves and belonging. For us as moms, it’s the weight of Am I doing enough?
This first day reminded me that back-to-school isn’t just about sharpened pencils and new teachers—it’s about emotions. And as I wrestled with my own, God gently brought me back to some truths I needed to hear:
Truths for Mom during Back-To-School
1. We aren’t failures when it feels hard.
Watching Emma whisper to herself, I felt like I had failed her by moving our family here. Even though the thought of failure was fleeting – it was enough to prompt some mom-guilt. I want to replace that mom-guilt with God’s word, which tells us that He is intimately present with and offers comfort to those experiencing emotional pain, suffering, and despair (Psalms 34:18). I know quite a few moms who helped set up college dorms this week for their kids. This season is hard.
Trust that God sees you in the here and now.
2. We don’t have to do it all.
My initial thoughts about getting the kids fully integrated consisted of signing them up for sports and other activities. And it’s tempting to think more activities will help kids fit in faster. But a full schedule doesn’t guarantee a full heart. Sometimes less really is more.
There was some anxiety over not being plugged into the community here and rushing into all things may not be what’s best for our family. Today, I was humbly reminded to that my focus shouldn’t be those things anyway. My focus should be on Him over worldly expectations and endless to-do lists.
3. We aren’t meant to do this alone.
Starting over has had its challenges, but the community has been so helpful! New schools, new routines, new everything – it’s a lot. But, we don’t have to prove we can do it all ourselves. I’ve asked way more questions this week than my kids, and that’s saying something! Reaching out for support isn’t weakness, it’s wisdom.
While this is causing us to step outside our comfort zone, it’s rewarding to make new connections. I’m leaning in and trusting that He will put the right people in our path for the right seasons.
Covered in Grace
So, as we step into this year, I’m choosing to extend grace over Luke and I. We know the discomfort our children face today will only last a brief while. They’ll make friends soon and then the roots they will grow will be permanent here.
I’m also choosing to extend patience—with my kids, with myself, and with this season. I’m also making room for both rest and belonging. Those topics can have their own blog posts too…
Because if there’s one thing this move has shown me already, it’s this: God’s grace covers the jitters, the mom-guilt, and the messy middle. Always.
“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” — 1 Peter 5:7
Ohhh LOOK at those happy kids!!! This is so beautiful… extraordinary!!!