When Duty Calls and the Heart Feels Heavy
This week I laced up my coyote brown tactical boots and flew out to Virginia to support my active-duty unit for two weeks.
Typically, in the days leading up to orders, I spend time making sure the family is set up for success while I’m gone. That usually means coordinating extra help from friends and family, pre-making meals and freezing them for my husband to grab on busy nights, and—new this year—leaving a detailed watering schedule for the baby seeds I planted before leaving.
Emotionally, I’m usually torn.
Torn because I’m looking forward to serving my country alongside some truly amazing people, but also torn because it means being away from my family. That tension usually lasts until I get to the airport. Once I’m on the mission and know my family is taken care of, I can finally breathe and focus on the work in front of me.
I’ve been in the military for 15 years now, and in the Air Force Reserve for seven of those. It never really gets easier; I’ve just learned how to better categorize my emotions.
But this set of orders has felt different.
Not because the work is demanding—I’m used to the pace and the expectations. What’s been heavy this week is watching what’s unfolding on the world stage.
Since the United States and Israel launched coordinated strikes on Iran earlier this year, we’ve lost thirteen service members and roughly 140 more have been injured. My heart has been especially heavy this week for my brothers and sisters in uniform. Their families and communities have been in my prayers, and I cannot imagine the weight of the grief they are carrying right now.
We Say Their Names
I ask that you join me in praying for those we’ve lost:
Sgt. First Class Noah L. Tietjens
Capt. Cody Khork
Sgt. First Class Nicole Amor
Sgt. Declan Coady
Maj. Jeffrey O’Brien
Chief Warrant Officer Robert Marzan
Sgt. Benjamin Pennington
Maj. John “Alex” Klinner
Capt. Ariana Savino
TSgt. Ashley Pruitt
Capt. Seth Koval
Capt. Curtis Angst
TSgt. Tyler Simmons
We say the names of those who’ve passed as an act of love and remembrance. Saying their names keeps their memory alive and honors the impact they had on the lives around them. It reminds us they were not just statistics or headlines—they were people. Warriors. Patriots. Parents. Sons and daughters. Friends.
For those who know me personally, you know our family is very close with the KC-135 Stratotanker community. The last six names on that list were members of that community. It’s a small world, and we knew some of those who perished in the tragic refueling incident last week.
But the first seven names were in the Army Reserve—the same status I’m serving in right now.
Reading about them, hearing stories about them, relating to their lives… it hurts.
Wrestling With Hard Questions
I can’t pretend to understand God’s will. And I certainly won’t claim that war itself is God’s desire. But Scripture reminds us that God knows “the end from the beginning” (Isaiah 46:10).
I don’t know why these men and women had to die.
Some theologians believe war is purely a human sin, though I’m not entirely convinced of that. After all, Scripture tells us there was war even in heaven when Satan and his angels were cast out (Revelation 12:7–9). Others believe wars can drive people toward God, causing hearts to seek Him in times of desperation. Still others believe God sometimes permits war as a form of judgment or correction, as we see in parts of the Old Testament.
So where does that leave us?
It leaves us on our knees.
However the Holy Spirit leads you to think about war, believe what you may. Personally, I believe war is an ugly thing. It is one of the most painful realities of our fallen world.
But even in war, we see glimpses of courage, sacrifice, and sometimes even revival.
Where there are wars, there are heroes. And God’s grace is still present there.
I have friends currently deployed in harm’s way. Some have shared that while they feel fear, there is also a sense of spiritual revival stirring within certain units. One friend recently told me that his leadership attended a church service overseas, gave his life to Christ, and was baptized that same afternoon.
That is powerful.
And that is something worth rejoicing over.
Our Role in Times Like These
As a service member, I know my role.
But I’ve also been asking myself: what is my role as an American citizen—and as a Christian?
First, as a Christian: pray.
Scripture reminds us in Ephesians 6:12 that:
“Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.”
So please—pray for our troops.
Pray for their families and communities. Pray for our elected officials and those in authority. Pray for wisdom, restraint, and ultimately a swift end to conflict.
Scripture also urges us in 1 Timothy 2:1-2:
“I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people—for kings and all who are in high positions.”
Let us pray with thankful hearts to a God who knows each of us personally and cares deeply about the lives He created.
Second, as an American citizen: engage.
Speak up respectfully. Write to your elected officials. Share your support or your concerns. Vote—not just in general elections, but in primaries and local matters too. Responsible citizenship matters.
Coming Home
I’ll wrap up my orders this week, stow my boots, and return home to my family. I’m looking forward to embracing them and hearing their voices in person again.
If you’re able to hug your loved ones this weekend, do so with gratitude. Remember that there are still brave men and women willing to stand in harm’s way to defend the freedoms we enjoy here in America.
And while you hold your family close, say a prayer for the families whose arms are empty this week.
Scripture reminds us:
“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13)
Until next time, friends.
Be blessed.
